I lost my wonderful 18 year old son James to an aneurism in 1996, then lost my darling husband of 31 years in 2006 to stomach cancer. I am not a religious person, but I am very spiritual. I was amazed at the incredible amount of invisible (spiritual) support I felt after the losses of my loved ones. I had some extraordinary experiences of spirit after both of my family members died, and realized that they were both very close, and that they were finding very creative and personal ways to get through to me and other family members. I found that when I tried to discuss these "messages" with others, I ran into a wall of polite skepticism and disbelief.
These experiences are as real to me as the computer I'm typing on, yet I found that I had to keep them to myself for the most part. People are not only uncomfortable talking about someone who has died, but they don't have a belief system, context or language for discussing experiences of spirit: especially when those experiences are outside of a religious setting or religious belief system. Sometimes these experiences fall outside of the framework of what is considered possible or probable based on what we've been taught.
I believe it is essential to healing that we are able to talk about our experiences with loss, and the people who are "missing" in our physical lives. I hope this blog will be a safe place for these kinds of discussions.
Shelley
I thought I should explain why this blog is called "White Butterfly". After my son's death, I had an unexplainable experience with a white butterfly. The summer he died, we went to a family gathering at a cabin by a beautiful mountain lake. We had been there the year before with our son Jimmy. He had had a wonderful time on the lake, riding (and driving) a Jet ski with all the abandon and joy that he often demonstrated in life. I was missing him so that next summer, and went to sleep in the upstairs bedroom of the cabin with a request to Jim that I sent to him "telepathically" by thinking it. I asked him that if he was with us in spirit, could he send a white butterfly? I don't know why I ask for a butterfly as a sign, it was just an idea that came to me. Then I looked out the window above the bed, and realized what a silly request it was; it was pitch black outside, I could not have seen a butterfly. The next morning I woke up, and forgot about the request I'd sent the night before. I laid in bed listening to the activity in the cabin, I could hear my Mom and others bustling around in the kitchen, and could smell breakfast cooking. Suddenly I felt a little tickle on my right arm, it felt like an insect stepping lightly on my skin, so I shook my arm. It was then that I saw a white butterfly fly right over me and across my line of vision toward the window above me. I jumped up to my knees in the bed and looked for the butterfly, thinking it would be trapped inside the room on the closed window, or in the window frame. It was no where to be seen. I KNEW I had had my message from Jimmy. I also KNEW I had been wide awake, and had seen a butterfly I could not now find. This experience brought me great comfort. I saw many white butterflies that summer, there was always a white butterfly in the yard where I'd never seen them before. The butterfly was always near a rose bush that we had planted in Jimmy's name after his death.
ReplyDeleteOur family lost a "son" when we lost Jimmy too! And Jim was like a dad to my son Brock! I also lost a nephew Kevin to "SIDS" about 19 years ago and still think about him frequently. We have a termianlly ill grandson "Riley" who is most the most precious gift to all of us! Thanks Shelley for letting us write out feelings. You deserve the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I know how much Jimmy loved your family, you really were his second family. I also know how much Jim loved you, Brock was like a son to him.
ReplyDeleteYour beautiful blue eyed angel Riley is a miracle. My heart goes out to you all, how I wish you could have a healing miracle for him.