I have been thinking about the stress that life brings to each of us...especially when we have suffered through a loss. It's not just grief that we feel...that overpowering sorrow that seems to eclipse everything else; but with that often comes fear, and the stress that creates. FEAR. When my husband died in particular I felt overwhelming grief and fear. One of the first things my husband tried to get through to me after he died was that I shouldn't be afraid. He was very creative in trying to get through my wall of fear and grief. Sometimes in the midst of the emotion; we are not open to the messages of help and reassurance that our deceased loved ones are trying to give us. Not long after my husband died in 2006, I went with my cousin and Mom to a local book festival. Part of the agenda were workshops in everything from "Finding Your Inner Shaman", to "Writing your own story". We went to the Shaman workshop and were treated to an hour with a wonderful Native American Shaman from the Ute tribe. He was dressed in native costume; and told us about the Shaman traditions and healing. He cleansed the room with a burning sage bouquet; (smoking would be more the description); and told us about the Native American view of heaven and earth. After the workshop my cousin and I went to find a restroom before our next class. I had noticed an interesting and rather colorfully dressed woman across the room from me while we were in the Shaman class. She kept looking over at me with a odd look on her face. We encountered her in the restroom and she looked at me and said: "I need to give you a message." Startled I just said "What?" She said: "I feel I need to tell you not to be afraid." I was shocked; but knew that she had spoken to my need. I just mumbled a few words of thanks and left. I wish I had asked her more about why she felt to tell me that; and where it had come from. What I believed at the time, and still believe; was that my husband found a way to get that message through to me through her. He has brought real reassurance and comfort on many other occasions since. Sometimes I am open to the messages; and sometimes I am too steeped in fear. It's natural to feel fearful of the future when a spouse dies, but I think it's important to realize that fear gets in the way of finding peace and creative solutions for going forward. Fear can be crippling and influence decision making in ways that are not in our best interests. It also blocks communication from those who know best how to help us...those who have gone before. One of the things I have learned is that there is an undercurrent of peace and love in the Universe. In the midst of grief, fear and stress; it is possible to feel that oneness and all is wellness at times. I found that I was best able to do this when I went to a natural place...a lake, a canyon stream, a country path into the woods or fields. This is where you can best get in touch with what is older, bigger, timeless, and in harmony with that underlying peace. My heart goes out to all who are feeling the absence of loved ones; to all who grieve, to all who feel the fear of the unknown that comes with change.